My heart has been burning lately.
Confession – I’ve been reading through my own blogs. Yep. It’s sort of like when you stalk yourself on Facebook or Instagram, curious to see what the rest of the world sees when they come across your profile.. only more, because it’s your guts on a page and your process.
I’ve come to realize lately not only the need to keep writing, but also the need to be more intentional about what I’m writing.
I am choosing to write because I spend a lot of time reading what others have to say. I anxiously scan the page, fingers crossed that they will say what my heart is screaming.
I think we all do that to some degree. If someone else says what’s deeply resonating in us, it somehow validates our process and makes us more real. When someone says what we’re feeling, an alarm is sounded, we lay our weapons down, and realize that the place we’re in is so much safer than we believed, and who we are, deep deep down, is what’s been needed all along.
But the thing is that someone has to say it first.
And I can wait the rest of my life to be validated, or I can start speaking.
I can tiptoe in environments until I sense the safety, or I can carry safety with me everywhere I go.
I am choosing to write because I have fought hard to defend what rings true in my heart, and in the times when I was too tired and wanted desperately to give up and pleaseGodmakemesomethingelse, I would feel the faithful pull of an anchor marked with goodness and love.
I am choosing to write because I have spent too many years trying to measure up and perform perfectly and jump just a little higher — I have spent too many years comparing my insides to everyone else’s outsides, and I want to expose performance for the liar that it is.
No one has their stuff together. We are all struggling.
We are all weathering countless storms and internal tornadoes.
We all have something that terrifies us.
And we all have the beautiful opportunity to come out of hiding and embrace an acceptance that has been waiting for us since the beginning.
There is freedom for our hearts through the doorway of vulnerability, and I want to run through it without reservation.
There is wholeness for our soul as we confront the darkness, open up, and let the light in.
I am writing not to lick and compare wounds but to confront them and heal them instead of burying them in guilt, shame, and “I shouldn’t feel this” ways.
Have you ever noticed how truly confident people effect others?
This is how you know.. False confidence screams “HERE I AM! EVERYONE OUT OF THE WAYYYYYY…”, while true confidence says “I am here, I am amazing, and you are too..” True confidence carries the key to unlocking the realest parts of everyone around them — it whispers “It’s safe here! We need who you are.. please don’t keep it from us!”
I want this spot, this little corner of the world wide web, to be that safe haven for you — The place where you can open wide and bloom and find light in rooms of your heart that you didn’t even know existed.
So here’s to vulnerability and freedom, light in the darkness, and truth like refreshing water to our souls that grow weary, or would just like an extra drink from time to time.
May we not be afraid to hope against hope, and repeat the same truths until our hearts know them well.
May we, together, choose to bravely stand and believe in redemption and goodness in every season.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU
Give me feedback. Tell me your stories. Share your victories. Vent to me when you wish you could post things on the internet but they’re not necessarily appropriate for the entire world to see.